So some of you who know me know that I have recently started a business that I do out of my house and since then many of my mom friends have been asking me to help them think of a great new business idea that would do well and that they could do in their spare time. No offense against anyone but we don’t need another candle party, pizza stone or jewelry business in the mix so I thought of a few practical business ideas that I think would do really well…
1. Crash investigator: No this is not the crew of guys that comes to investigate a motor vehicle accident. This person would be in your home and when there are random crashes coming from the room down the hall that your kids are playing in, this person’s job is to go make sure no one is hurt, bleeding or in need of medical attention so mommy can finally sit and eat a bite of her bagel without being interruped.
2. Security guard: This persons main function will be to stand guard outside the bathroom as to prevent little footed intruders from wanting to have a pow wow while you try to poop. Added duties would be to guard mommy’s vault (a hidden box of truffles in the pantry)
3. Medical advisory board: This person would keep a fresh and up to date stockpile of the essential meds every mother needs meaning valium, advil, motrin and midol.
4. Somalier/Wine steward: Self-explanitory….keep it chilled, keep it coming.
5. Chauffeur: Duties include driving to dance, school, music and anything ending in “Mart” to pick up needed items for household
6. Chef: Make them whatever the hell they want.
7. Personal playmate: Play princess tea party and superhero as many goddamn times as they want you to and yes, you must wear the tutu and pirate hat.
8. Maid: The room that you just spent twenty minutes cleaning is now a mess again and that big box of 500 of the little mini lego pieces that was on the shelf is no longer up there and yes, clean up on aisle 3 (bedroom hallway) for some substance yet to be identified.
9. Perimeter manager: When mommy is on the phone, your sole duty is to keep children at a safe distance of a minimum of ten feet so they can’t be in your face yelling “mommy, mommy mommy” at the top of their lungs and simultaneously tugging at your shirt.
10.Taser gun/duct tape operator….use your imagination for this one.